First month of living in a new country.
The weeks leading up to us leaving Nashville to Lisbon were exhausting.
We had decided against renting a storage unit to store our belongings we were leaving behind. Our furniture, and a few select kitchen appliances were left with our renters, or packed into a tiny upstairs attic. Everything else had to be donated, sold, or thrown away. We were only bringing two suitcases each.
How do you pack four peoples lives into eight suitcases?
I found myself stuffing favorite books into any available pockets and corners of suitcases I could find.
Things are just things.
Everything is replaceable.
Experiences over possessions.
These words became my constant mantras as I piled up belongs I once thought were essential. Following your dreams require relinquishment, and in my case, it meant loosening my grip on 75% of our belongings.
During the last few days of us being in Nashville, I caught the nasty flu that was rapidly catching fire throughout the South. Our last days in Nashville were chaotic, anxious and sleepless.
Needless to say, we arrived in Lisbon hopeful, but exhausted.
Stepping outside of the airport, I was struck with the familiar stick-to-your-skin humidity of my Floridian childhood. Welcome back. The air held thick reminders of being close to the ocean, and the very thought of this was deeply comforting. Bodies of water have always been my beckoning home.
We trudged through the throngs of people and navigated eight suitcases, four carry ons, and two very grumpy, sleepless children to an Uber. Our driver looked at us incredulously with our entourage of luggage, but he managed to fit it all into his sedan.
Lisbon was in a moody disposition; gray, dark skies and patches of rain showering slick white cobblestone streets. Several areas had flooded days ago, and would continue in the weeks to follow.
As we drove away from the airport, I felt a million miles away from home.
It was exhilarating and frightening all at once. It’s always been my M.O. to jump into the unknown and then look afterwards. It’s my best attribute, and my toxic trait. Even when you know you are on the right path, it’s easy to second guess yourself:
Did I really just move my entire family across the ocean to a place we’ve never been before?
Will my children be happy here?
Will they resent me, and will I be the main topic of their adult therapy sessions?
Oh my god I don’t know more than ten Portuguese words total! WTF am I doing?
Breathe, Mandy. Breathe. Trust the knowing. Trust your intuition.
We had decided to stay at a hotel the first night we were in Lisbon, due to the fact our rented apartment was completely unfurnished. We knew we would desperately need a comfortable bed to sleep in after traveling overnight and missing a night of sleep. Not to mention, I was still pretty sick.
Dropping our bags at the hotel and convincing our nearly beside themselves children we needed to at least stay awake until after dinner, we went in search of something to eat.
We wandered a couple of blocks away and stumbled upon a warmly lit, welcoming little restaurant, tucked cozily into an old stone building. This tiny, bohemian bistro was run by two French immigrant women who were friendly, and provided us with more food and wine than we could eat and drink. A quiet buzz of Portuguese, French and English conversation filled the air around us. The owners kissed the cheeks of regulars coming and going. They invited us back to come on nights when they had live music, when they push back the tables and everyone dances.
Before we could sleep, we also had to pick up our apartment keys from our realtors. They let us in to an apartment four floors up. We were a 4,125 miles away from Nashville. But here we were: home again. Somewhere new. It was literally a blank canvas; the next chapter.
The next few weeks felt like a blur.
Countless trips to IKEA, finding the best local coffee (because we are un-bashfully caffeine addicts), and figuring out things like how to turn on our hot water and get the sewer smell out of our old pipes.
We quickly learned it is customary to greet people with Bom Dia, Boa Tarde, and Boa Noite (good morning, good afternoon, and good evening) in pretty much any setting. We also found it very useful to learn these two phrases:
Fala Inglês? Do you speak English?
Estou aprendendo Português. I am learning Portuguese.
The latter always seems to garner us compassion, which we appreciate, as Portuguese is very challenging for English language speakers.
Moving to a country where you don’t speak the language can make finding every day necessities a very complicated deal.
What is Portuguese for “drain-o?”
How do I ask for the check at dinner?
What do I say when someone asks me a question in Portuguese and I don’t understand?
Learning a new language (and culture) being totally immersed makes me feel like I am am toddler all over again; learning the fundamentals of simply EVERYTHING. Etiquette, social cues, foundational words, phrases. Equally, it is fun and challenging.
Still, I laugh when I think about our (daily) mess ups when we use the incorrect phrase and word, and get a quizzical look. Like the time when I told the Uber Delivery guy “my deepest condolences” for him having to lug my groceries up four flights of stairs, instead of a correct “I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” Or when I enter a small boutique and my social anxiety kicks in, and instead of saying hello, or good day, I just keep saying Obrigada, thank you, over and over again. Turns out, I am not only socially awkward in the States, but abroad, too.
All you can do is laugh, right? Learning another language is humbling and comedic.
What has been amazing is the kindness, patience and compassion of strangers. The people who have been friendly to us, who have walked us through how to order coffee in Portuguese, and told us how much we are going to love living here.
And we do.
Lisbon has been nothing short of amazing. Challenging, yes. But amazing. Our little corner of Lisbon, bustling with restaurants, apartments and a giant park has begun to feel like home. Our tiny little city apartment is slowing taking shape, and is adorned with beautiful artwork from talented local artists who have immigrated from Brazil.
What has been interesting is witnessing how happy my kids are. All of us have been thrown into a completely different life, and we are thriving. Suddenly, we are fully dependent upon one another. We are experiencing every experience together, and I am seeing how it is making my daughters closer to each other.
I’m proud of them, my girls. They’ve learned how to navigate being in a new city; memorizing the metro lines, jumping on trains to go see a neighboring town, eating new food they’ve never had before, and speaking to people in Portuguese.
They don’t know yet how big this experience is, or how will change their lives forever. But it will. Because that is what travel does. It changes you. It cracks open the old, and the familiar and unearths newness; exciting uncertainty, and a realization of the goodness of humanity. It opens your mind (and heart) to a literal world of possibility.
And all you have to do is leap… and maybe look afterwards.
x. Mandy in Lisbon
Note: All photos are copyright of Mandy Hanson Reid. Do not use without permission. Several of the photos featured on these blogs are limited edition prints available for purchase upon request. Inquire at mandy@mandyreid.com . Shop Mandy in Lisbon t-shirts here. Thank you for your support.
